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Are You Serious, Bro?: The Zack Ryder Story

  • Sign with the WWE and get saddled with lame gimmick after lame gimmick 
  • Float around the lower mid card with no real direction 
  • Decide to create your own gimmick in an attempt to get yourself over 
  • Work your ass off for months and months despite no support from management 
  • Become successful entirely on your own 
  • Finally get given an opportunity to reach your full potential on Raw 
  • Think you’ve finally made it after winning the US title! 
  • Be befriended by John Cena, who is only interested in you because of your newfound popularity (in the hope that it will rub off on him) 
  • Pursue the girl of your dreams for weeks 
  • Finally win her over and become her boyfriend 
  • Lose the title 
  • Start being harassed by Kane solely because of your association with Cena 
  • Have your girlfriend be stalked and harassed by Kane because of your association with Cena 
  • Have your back broken (?) by Kane because of your association with Cena
  • Have your girlfriend stolen by Cena 
  • Get murdered by Kane

Notes

  1. higherbrainpattern reblogged this from stylesclash
  2. stylesclash reblogged this from stylesclash and added:
    I guess they really are going to fulfil that last dot point, hey
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  12. eroaneki reblogged this from masteroftasks and added:
    this tool is from merrick, a town not far from me everyone from merrick deserves to have kane take care of them
  13. masteroftasks reblogged this from formerlyhobojesuspunk and added:
    Sign with the WWE and get saddled with lame gimmick after lame gimmick Float around the lower mid card with no real...
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